Which do you find harder- being a stepmother or a single mother?

[feebee]

Like soul said-It does come down to the dynamics of the people involved.

I was a single mum when ex dh and I split-but we have always had a good relationship and this has continued despite both repartnering. I think the communication style between us has helped keep our daughter centred and us sane.

Being a fulltime stepmum for the past year completely did my head in and I couldn't continue so back to "singledom"again-although dp and I are still together(dating)
It really was because of BMs behaviour that did it for me-having to justify everything, having the "spies in the nest" syndrome going on-the ongoing onslaught of BM toooo much-life is too short and don't need that in my life and more importantly Miss 10's

I am happy to be a 'special" mummy from a distance now and relishing the one on one time with Miss 10 and also me time when she is at her dads

Life is simpler-I have more $$$$-just seem to budget better when I know its just my money coming into the household.

[Mix]

I would have to say after looking back on the last two years of my life, being a single mother was alot easier, less stressful and more rewarding for me. What about you?

Much, MUCH easier but more boring, being a single parent.

[Jinxed]

Id say more lonely too but i saw my friends way more and made more time for them so its more boring now as I hardly go out. Now i find socialising a drain. I avoid it at all costs when the skids are here.

[Maverick29]

Ahhh, spare a thought for the single step-mother. Whose partner works long hours or away from home. That'd be nasty.

In my case DH has started working nights so he's home and awake for about 3hrs a day when SD is here. I loathe it. But it's got to be a million times worse for those stepmothers whose partners are away ALL the time.

Question for the SM's who have the skids when their father isn't there - why do you do it?

[SMwannabe]

Question for the SM's who have the skids when their father isn't there - why do you do it?

I was going to go this way, no SD moving in without DH home full-time, but when push came to shove, DH and I sat down and worked through all the issues and questions I had, as well as our financial position. In the end, it came down to three facts. 1. that SD and I get along well. She knows exactly where she stands and what we/I will do if she misbehaves/crosses the "you will be kicked out' lines I have set. 2. We are not in the financial position to be able to have DH leave his job. 3. BM was mistreating and neglecting her so badly.

So, DH is back at work, away for a time and home again. We shall see how it goes.

Having said that, to see the change in SD14 since she has been here nearly one week is wonderful. It is so obvious that she is starting to feel happier, safe and secure, wanted/loved/appreciated/welcomed and included. She's even starting to eat again! BM for making her feel the opposite of all of that.

OK so it's only the first week. But hopefully, we have started as we wish to continue. So, that is why I'm doing it.