Are you with the BF ?
DH and I have lived together for 4yrs - been married for a couple of months. I have the skids names on my medicare card and private health insurance. I have taken them to the doctors and dentists and never had a problem with being allowed to sign for them.... and that was before we were married.
Yes my DP is the father of my 3 skids , I am not trying to push thier real BM out of the picture , I was just wondering if I can be added as a legal guardian because I am the one who is organising their lives (they live with us mostly).
BM does not want to be involved in their schooling etc nor does she pay for anything.
Also what if something happened to my DP and BM never let the skids see me or thier stepbrother.
Caesia, my SS lives with us most of the time and I usually sign everything for him except for legal stuff (hospital consent forms and school enrollment), which DH signs. BM doesn't like the fact I sign school, dental, doctor's, Centrelink, FAO items for SS, but like you, I'm the one who's actually raising him day to day, and she doesn't even take him for hair cuts, let alone doctor's appointments. Neither has she contributed financially towards his educations and medical expenses.
I've spoken to our soli about this, and he told us that unless BM is found incompetent by a court (clinically insane, chronic alcoholic/drug addict, child to be taken out of their custody due to violence or sexual abuse), or she gives her consent, then the only way to become the legal guardian of a step child is when the NCP dies or they allow you to adopt the child. If your BM is anything like ours, she will try to hold onto whatever little credibility she has of being a "mother" and won't consent to your adopting her child.
It would be a very difficult legal battle to fight for legal guardianship if the BM is still in the picture, and also if the child's BF is available to deal with these issues. The courts would say "well, the father's raising the child, so SM doesn't need to be legal guardian".
As for if something happened to BF could BM keep skids from seeing you and your kids, well, yes, she could, if BF's incapacitation or death isn't written into your orders. Once again, you would have to go to court to ask for new parenting orders so that skids could maintain a relationship with you and their half-siblings.
It sucks, doesn't it?