legal guardianship of stepchildren?

[caesia]

.....

[ism]

Can anyone help me , I was wondering if it's possible for a stepparent to become a legal guardian of their stepchildren?
If so what is the process ?
And can you became a guardian if both biological parents are still in the children's lives.

As a step parent I am the one who is dealing with the skids schooling, medical appointments etc and alot of the time signatures and consent is needed from the legal guardian.

My DP has that of the eldest, we had to fight tooth and nail for it but once the Bm's lies unfolded it was a closed case because the BF was so absent and has no interest in being a father. BM is only interested in being a mother for financial reasons or when she can brag about something her daughters done, which pisses me off the most because all of those things wouldnt have happened if i dont work my ass of to help her to achieve it. It actually all came undone for BM when she ripped the daughter into a womens shelter under lies and child services where involved. Child services where paying us a visit and we had SD because something had happened to BM so we had had her for 3 days and SD overheard the case worker say something about her living with her mum and SD ran up to me crying and saying ''please dont make me go to mum's, i wanna come home please ill be a good girl'' this was then written into the case workers file we used that to get her. In saying that i dont have guardianship only my Dp however in regards to school, medical ect i have full authority, BM is an emergency contact t the school after everyone else we could possibly think of. It pisses her off massively that im listed as her daughters step mother and on one occasion she went up to the school to try and take her out without us knowing and one of the new chicks misread the file and said your not her mother her mother is (my name). You need to be careful oing this to make sure it is what the Skids want it was clear for us it was what our Sd wanted but our story is quite complicated. Also if BM is a good mother i dont see many reasons to do it you can just be listed as an authorised person to be allowed to sing and what not, it's what i have.If you do do it you haveto do it for the right reasons 1st reason BM's not good 2nd the skids need it and are ok with it 3rd you not doing it to try to push BM out of the picture regardless of what you have that gives you authority to act as a mother she will always be mum and no matter how bad she is you cant change that.

Are you with the BF ?

[tex1]

DH and I have lived together for 4yrs - been married for a couple of months. I have the skids names on my medicare card and private health insurance. I have taken them to the doctors and dentists and never had a problem with being allowed to sign for them.... and that was before we were married.

[caesia]

Yes my DP is the father of my 3 skids , I am not trying to push thier real BM out of the picture , I was just wondering if I can be added as a legal guardian because I am the one who is organising their lives (they live with us mostly).
BM does not want to be involved in their schooling etc nor does she pay for anything.

Also what if something happened to my DP and BM never let the skids see me or thier stepbrother.

[Jinxed]

DH and I have lived together for 4yrs - been married for a couple of months. I have the skids names on my medicare card and private health insurance. I have taken them to the doctors and dentists and never had a problem with being allowed to sign for them.... and that was before we were married.

Same here. And i dealt with all the skids schooling- DH just had to sign the enrollement stuff but everything else I dealt with.

[joltan]

Caesia, my SS lives with us most of the time and I usually sign everything for him except for legal stuff (hospital consent forms and school enrollment), which DH signs. BM doesn't like the fact I sign school, dental, doctor's, Centrelink, FAO items for SS, but like you, I'm the one who's actually raising him day to day, and she doesn't even take him for hair cuts, let alone doctor's appointments. Neither has she contributed financially towards his educations and medical expenses.

I've spoken to our soli about this, and he told us that unless BM is found incompetent by a court (clinically insane, chronic alcoholic/drug addict, child to be taken out of their custody due to violence or sexual abuse), or she gives her consent, then the only way to become the legal guardian of a step child is when the NCP dies or they allow you to adopt the child. If your BM is anything like ours, she will try to hold onto whatever little credibility she has of being a "mother" and won't consent to your adopting her child.

It would be a very difficult legal battle to fight for legal guardianship if the BM is still in the picture, and also if the child's BF is available to deal with these issues. The courts would say "well, the father's raising the child, so SM doesn't need to be legal guardian".

As for if something happened to BF could BM keep skids from seeing you and your kids, well, yes, she could, if BF's incapacitation or death isn't written into your orders. Once again, you would have to go to court to ask for new parenting orders so that skids could maintain a relationship with you and their half-siblings.

It sucks, doesn't it?