Which do you find harder- being a stepmother or a single mother?

[Jinxed]

Id say more lonely too but i saw my friends way more and made more time for them so its more boring now as I hardly go out. Now i find socialising a drain. I avoid it at all costs when the skids are here.

[Maverick27]

Originally Posted by poisedpen

Ahhh, spare a thought for the single step-mother. Whose partner works long hours or away from home. That'd be nasty.

In my case DH has started working nights so he's home and awake for about 3hrs a day when SD is here. I loathe it. But it's got to be a million times worse for those stepmothers whose partners are away ALL the time.

Question for the SM's who have the skids when their father isn't there - why do you do it?

[Anirtak]

Maverick, I don't anymore.

[poisedpen]

Originally Posted by Maverick27

Question for the SM's who have the skids when their father isn't there - why do you do it?

Stupidity.

DH only recently started working nights. So it's still in the figuring out stages. I want to give it enough time, or rather DH enough time, to find a way to make it work.

[SMwannabe]

Originally Posted by Maverick27

Question for the SM's who have the skids when their father isn't there - why do you do it?

I was going to go this way, no SD moving in without DH home full-time, but when push came to shove, DH and I sat down and worked through all the issues and questions I had, as well as our financial position. In the end, it came down to three facts. 1. that SD and I get along well. She knows exactly where she stands and what we/I will do if she misbehaves/crosses the "you will be kicked out' lines I have set. 2. We are not in the financial position to be able to have DH leave his job. 3. BM was mistreating and neglecting her so badly.

So, DH is back at work, away for a time and home again. We shall see how it goes.

Having said that, to see the change in SD14 since she has been here nearly one week is wonderful. It is so obvious that she is starting to feel happier, safe and secure, wanted/loved/appreciated/welcomed and included. She's even starting to eat again! BM for making her feel the opposite of all of that.

OK so it's only the first week. But hopefully, we have started as we wish to continue. So, that is why I'm doing it.

[rhn]

I think if you have a understanding, respectful partner who doesn't let his kids treat you like crap and doesnt expect you to do all of the parenting, then being a step parent is easier.

This is my DP which makes life much easier. My SDs are really nice girls which also helps.

I was a single mum to DD from birth to 2.5 years and while it was easier with finances and schedules, I was very lonely and it was so hard coping when I was sick or she was sick. My family all live at least 600km away.